so explain again why im purple
no
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
