Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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