the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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