found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He passed out mid-signature
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
