It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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