somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
