You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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