i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
