Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
