I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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