My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
