I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
