well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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