So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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