Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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