Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
