How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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