really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
