Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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