Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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