I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Alive.
So much puke
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
