Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Let's get the cat blown out
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
