it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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