Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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