Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize