You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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