I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
