we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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