Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
