How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Oh god it's open bar.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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