even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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