i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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