remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's blow job season.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
