cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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