Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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