whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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