who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
