Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Boobs are out for the taking
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
