so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I need to align my fucking chakras
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
