All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
