i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
