Betty ford says i'm here all night
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
