I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
