It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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