I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
COCAINE IS GR8
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
