the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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