Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm both gender and math confused
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
