Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
