awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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