Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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