Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
