did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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