She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
