Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
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We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
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To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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