The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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