not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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