So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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