I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
